Maid of Honor Duties : Where To Start Guide

04 November 2016

Photos by Vincent Gomez (book him & his team here)

So your best friend, sister or family member has designated you as the Maid of Honor of her wedding and basically, you're about to faint.  Brace yourself.  The next several months of your life will be full of planning and you're going to love it because you have no choice.  As a now experienced MOH, I definitely learned a thing or two about getting started on this journey that almost might seem like your own wedding!  When I was assigned the role for my sister's wedding, I had no idea where to even begin and literally scrolled through wedding blogs for any tips I could find.  I mean it's a huge honor to be the head maid of the wedding so you obviously want to be the best MOH out there! However, I'm not going to lie, it's a tough job even for the best party planner out there.  Are you ready to take notes?  Grab your party planning book and a bottle of champagne ladies, this is NOT a drill.

1. First thing's first - GET REAL.

Your duties now include coordinating dress shopping, any bridal events, the bachelorette party and the bridal shower.  Of course you have these super high expectations and want to wow the bride and all her girlfriends to prove why you were asked over any other friend.  That's cool but let's get real for a second, this isn't your wedding so whatever you want isn't the final say.  Sit down with the bride and ask her what she wants.  Some brides will want something much less extravagant than what you were thinking of, which is cool!  Other brides may already have their own plans and ideas of what they want, so take advantage of this and take major notes.  If you're stuck with a bride who has no idea what she wants, DO NOT throw the responsibility on yourself.  This is how people become stressed haha.  You'll want to sit down with the bridesmaids to discuss and throw out any ideas!  It should be a fun process.

2.  Lock those dates down.

Dates are important and you want to make sure you choose something far in advance to accommodate everyone.  On average, people make plans at least 2 months ahead of time, so you definitely want to be ahead of the game.  My sister had her dates locked down pretty much within a month after she formed her bridal party, which really helped.  If you're lost, here's a quick mock list of what should go in order:
  • Dress shopping
  • Bridal events like stuffing envelopes, writing addresses, wedding shopping for miscellaneous props, etc. 
  • The Bachelorette Party
  • The Bridal Shower
Of course this order is optional but I do think these are all main events to be discussed and talked about with all bridesmaids.

3.  Plan ahead.

As soon as my sister started throwing themes out for her Bach and Bridal Shower, I hit Pinterest HARD for inspiration.  I made detailed excel sheets for each event to track what I needed and what had already been completed.  You guys should have seen the spreadsheet I made to track every girl down for the Bachelorette party lol.  I had their email addresses, phone number, ride information, payment method, what events they'd be all that was missing was emergency contact info for each girl haha.  It's okay to plan ahead though!  It honestly makes things SO much easier because it feels like a prolonged party planning process instead of a rushed and stressful process.  The best advice I can share with you guys is to map out what each event should look like.  For example, I looked up images of our room for the Bachelorette party and I drew out where I wanted each decoration to "practice" my vision rather than get there and just throw things anywhere.  Call me a crazy planner, but I'm super detailed so planning ahead doesn't hurt.

4. Save save save.

This is why planning ahead is so crucial because you get an idea of what your budget will look like and an estimate of how much each girl will be spending.  Since you're the head maid, it's up to you to decide what extra details you're going to spend on and not rely on the bridesmaids for.  This doesn't mean go save a million dollars, but like, just be prepared for anything the bride requests that you can potentially make happen.  They will have so much fun and be so excited when you surprise them with even the smallest details!  I had a surprise party bus waiting for us one night at my sister's bach and Snapchat filters that followed us around Vegas for the weekend and they were all a total hit.  Even just putting aside $100 a paycheck makes a world of a difference - trust me!

5. Have patience.

Every MOH should have a silent freak out moment.  Mine was pretty mild lol.  There was most definitely a moment where I was about to explode out of frustration and I'm so happy I didn't because like I said earlier in this post, it's not your wedding therefore the bride doesn't need any extra stress.  Spilling frustrations onto someone else is so useless.  You can talk about it, but there is totally a difference between letting it out and dragging it out.  If it has to do with the bride, talk to your distant friend who isn't in the wedding about it.  If it has to do with the bridesmaids, talk to the bride but be mindful of your approach.  I was lucky because my sister and I were on the same page the whole time and it was easy for me to express my concerns and receive support.  Ultimately, you need to do what's best for the party so if you need help, reach out to the appropriate person.

Trust me when I say this is only the beginning and you have a long way to go haha.  It's honestly not supposed to be a stressful time.  You should be so excited to explore your inner creative side for one of the most important events of your life.  Good luck my fellow maids!  Please don't hesitate to email me if you have any questions or if you just need inspiration.  I'm here for you babes <3

Xo..Melissa Victoria

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