Checking in from Motherhood

 

Where do I even begin? Motherhood is quite the journey of nothing but an ebb and flow. I thought I'd come back to write sooner, but I'm glad I didn't because this wouldn't have been as thoughtful of a post as one I can provide today. With almost 8 months in and still (forever) figuring this new life out, it's time to lay it out all. The good and the not so fun moments. Read on for my motherhood review. Spoiler alert, I give it 10/10 stars. 

The Not So Fun

Postpartum. That's the tweet! Holy cow was I not completely prepared for what was to come during this phase. It's not like it's gruesome or anything, but the physical toll birth takes on your body is why this is categorized under not so fun. Long story short, I delivered an 8 pound, sunny side up baby with a vacuum assist after 5 hours of pushing, episiotomy included. To start, I don't know what recovery is like without these bumps in the road, but I can say my experience absolutely shot my core for probably two-three months, dealt with gnarly hemorrhoids, bloody nipples and my tear - not gruesome at all lol! I felt like I was prepared with supplies, but you really don't know what you're in for when it happens to you. Every experience is just so different, there wasn't anything I could have done to mentally and physically prepare me. After you give birth, you're just literally thrown into this new life where you just hit the ground running in whatever direction looks good. All the while, you have to stop to take care of yourself and make sure you're recovering okay - it's just wild! The beautiful part of this is it's a learning experience and something you'll know how to navigate again. For example now I know walking is your friend and a donut pillow is your best friend! All this to say, postpartum threw me for a loop but I think I'll have things a little more figured out next time. 

Lack of Boobie Milk. There's nothing like being short on milk supply during a nationwide baby formula outage. Pre-baby, I didn't care about whether or not I produced enough milk because I knew I had options. It wasn't anything I thought I would take to heart and it became the only thing I took to heart lol. I was devastated because I didn't produce milk, I cried many tears and felt so beyond bad that I didn't have anything to naturally offer my son. Overall, I think we had a hard time figuring out the proper way to breast feed. My nipples were cut up leaving the hospital and the first few nights at home were spent trying to figure out why my crying baby, who I had just fed, was crying again. Well that was because he wasn't eating - sorry dude lol. Things got better when I got a pump but I don't think it was strong enough. Then I got the hospital grade pump and I think I was too late to the game at that point. Honestly I think the formula shortage put pressure on me to create a steady supply. I don't know that I would have stressed too much about it if it weren't for what happened! It wasn't a fun moment, but again, all things to learn from and now be grateful for. I guess I just expected to have boobs full of milk because that's what I thought happened (lol!) but again, ignorance is bliss. Now I know and now I know it's all gonna be okay with or without boobie milk. 

Sleepless Nights. This is important and this is why they say to feed your baby every 2-3 hours. The first few nights at home were awful. Poor kid cried basically all night and as new parents, we had no idea what the heck was wrong. Being the sole food provider was especially difficult during this time because it never really felt like I could fully rest. I definitely napped, but it wasn't always in sync with baby. We came home on Friday and spent the weekend feeling like the baby was hazing us over night (lol) until Monday hit and I said enough is enough. My plan was to figure baby out. By this point, I had a pump and was producing enough to keep him happy every 2-3 hours. I remember telling Martin "Okay I'm going to stay up all night and I'm going to study him." Study him I did because I think this was when we got on a solid schedule that helped both of us. The schedule was feed baby, pump while baby sleeps, wake baby up to eat 2-3 hours later, feed baby pumped milk, go to sleep and leave the rest of the milk for Martin to feed the baby 2-3 hours after that. Sleepless nights are inevitable during the newborn phase, but I think what really helped was when I strayed away from exclusively breast feeding, to offering a combination of breast milk and formula. The help Martin was able to provide was beyond critical for my recovery and the future of our sleep. Maybe we got super lucky with baby though because he gave us long sleep stretches as of 8 weeks old and that's major. We didn't sleep train but I definitely think getting on an eating schedule developed that naturally in him. Adding this to my list of things for next time too! 

The Good

Everything. Sure it's not always pretty, but perspective will get you through it and help you see things in a fruitful way. I was afraid of motherhood and the life changes that came with it and now that I look back, I'm still afraid ha! I don't think I'll ever have it figured out but I 100% know I'll enjoy it because that's what motherhood is - a journey of never ending joy. My son is growing so fast and it feels like we've lived a lifetime together! All his firsts are exciting moments and moments that I'll always remember. I'll always remember seeing him for the first time, hearing his first giggle, watching him flip for the first time, the first time he was strong enough to be carried without support, his first time in a pool, all the way to now his first set of teeth. It has truly all been good. No experience happens without a lesson and even if some parts weren't as fun, it's still part of our story and one that I'll never forget. The overall review? 10/10, highly recommend. 

Anyway, I'll leave you with that for now! I have tons of momma content I've been brainstorming so stay tuned. 

xo,

Melissa Victoria

P.S. My sons name is Daniel, he was born 2.23 at 5:04pm and is the absolute light of my life.